So I was reading through the Kendall County Record for December 1884 (hey, you read what you like for fun, and I’ll read what I like) and came across an item in the Dec. 16 paper that is an instant classic of local history. It’s one of those things that keep getting better the more of it you read until it winds up with a bang at the end:
Sheriff Newton has a boarder he would be glad to be rid of. The neighborhood pest, Stub Russell, is now in the County jail at Yorkville, much to the disgust of everybody. He stole a satchel over at Plano and was bound over by Squire Horton to appear before the Circuit Court. How a man with both legs off at the juncture of the thighs and only one arm can steal is a mystery.
I could find nothing more about the inventive and ambitious Mr. Russell, but by golly, you’ve got to admit he didn’t let a little thing like being a triple amputee keep him from trying to live a normal life. Even if he was a thief. And besides, he had one of the great names in history. Am I right?